if my husband had been diagnosed with a disease, I could share that freely with others. It would in no way cause others to put up a strike against him; rather, it would endear him to them.
As it is, there is no incurable disease ravaging this home today.
No tragic accident locking us to the local hospital.
Nor a chronic sickness that saps strength, mind, emotions.
I simply deal with my own attitude and heart health in light of past and present failures, wrongs, and uncertainties.
How do I daily take up my cross?
How do I daily extend olive branches?
How do I daily exercise humility and forgiveness?
How do I daily put on love and put off any myriad of sins that inhibit my growth?
Knowing God's statement, “For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways,” declares the Lord" does not keep me from wondering why He chooses what He chooses to refine.
It doesn't stop me from wondering why He seems to be retracing steps and reteaching something He showed and taught so long ago in my faith walk with Him.
His means to His end for me is vastly different than anything I would ever select to encounter were it left up to me.
These valleys are deep, sometimes dark, oftentimes lonely.
There it is that He reminds me that not only is His light sufficient and perfect for those dark and dank valleys, but His steady love has never left me alone.
It is this love that takes me to the precipice then provides a way over, sometimes a way through.
It is this love that identifies my greatest needs and fashions the means to meet them.
It is this love that keeps me from falling too far, that steadies my step, disciplines my selfish heart.
It is this love that remained on the cross, that didn't put a halt to the sacrifice of Christ.
It is this love that I cling to, that I need, that I hunger for, that meets me and satisfies me.
His means to His end for me is vastly different than anything I would ever select to encounter were it up to me. Thankfully, it's not solely up to me. Thankfully, He loves perfectly so His ways and means are, for me, perfect.
Make my heart believe it, Lord.
