There's a major hitch in God's command to husbands and wives, and that hitch is the thing that feels most restrictive, most difficult. It's the thing that fuels the rebellion stirring in our selfish hearts.
God says, "Wives, respect your husbands in everything," there is no caveat, no "out." He doesn't say to show respect if the husband is respectable, respectful, or good. He doesn't command respect when a husband loves his wife well, lives a godly life, or goes to church every week. He simple tells wives to do it - respect. That's what's hard. We want there to be a condition. We want the husband to earn any and all respect we send his way, because that's generally how this earthly life works. We perform well: we are rewarded well (or we expect to be). We are kind to some stranger: usually kindness is reciprocated.
But with this simple command, there is no prerequisite. It's simply a matter of obedience on the part of the wife. The other command of husbands loving their wives has the same application. There are no conditions to extending love; it is only that we are to love.
Aren't you thankful there are no conditions to God's grace? I guess if there were, it would not be grace.
