we're all pointing somewhere

i'd like to be a real girl,
a down-to-earth, honest, genuine girl.

i'd like to shower folks with love,
kindness, listening, camaraderie, truth.

i'd like to do this without pointing to me;
i want to be the real deal with people and love them without being the focus.

i'd like to live in such a way that others receive good fruit from me,
but they all realize its source is not my own heart,
it's Christ.

We are all pointing to something, someone, somewhere.
I have the option of pointing to my circumstances, whether happy or dire.

I have the option of pointing to myself, to what I think I've accomplished,
to the cookies I bake, the blankets I crochet, the children I teach, blah blah blah.

Or, I have the option every time of pointing to Christ.
Here's how I am today, and here is where I am with Jesus,
what He's teaching, how He showed His faithfulness and mercies again this morning,
how He is loving me through this dark valley.

If I want to worship Jesus, I focus on Him;
if I want those around me to worship Him, my role is to do what I can to point to Him, not me.

It's one thing for me to be honest about how I'm doing; it's another thing to distract people from God while talking about myself.

Our circumstances are not for us to glean sympathy or pity from others but to glorify Christ and show Him as faithful to others in the midst of our circumstances.

We are commanded to face our difficulties and trials with joy...

"Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything."  James 1:2-4

O, Lord, do this through me; I need You desperately.

"Gleaning" by Arthur Hughes

is there a difference?

What's the difference between "being real" in sharing how I'm doing and in complaining about how I'm doing? 

How can we answer honestly without dishonoring God, sounding whining, or coming across as self-centered?

How does that work?

I just don't know.

thinking on it...

dwelling

On what do we dwell?
What do we think about?
What do we ponder, consider, mentally chew?
What do we retrieve over and over in our minds?

Do we dwell on our pasts...
its memories, events, wrongs inflicted upon us?

Do we repeat these things to others, regurgitate them in conversations, chew on them, retrieve them to play on repeat in our minds?

Do we dwell on ourselves...
who hurt us, how we were hurt, when we were hurt, how it still follows and troubles us?

Do we repeat these hurts and painful memories to others, regurgitate them in conversations, chew on them, retrieve them to play on repeat in our minds?

Or, do we remove the focus from ourselves and place it on Another?...

Do we dwell on Jesus...
His sacrifice, His life, His death, His power, His forgiveness, His Spirit, His cross, His resurrection, His ascension?

Do we repeat these truths and promises to others, regurgitating them in conversations, chewing on them, retrieving them to play on repeat in our minds?

Do we realize that that on which we dwell becomes that which doth define us?

Either we are defined by our problems, our pain, our methods and routines for dealing with our stuff, or....

We are defined by Jesus, His solution, His pain on our behalf, His forgiveness and hope, His Truth, His Word, His power.

What defines you?

What do people think of when they think of you?

Are others' thoughts pivoting around your sorrows, around you?

Or are the thoughts of others fixed on Christ as a result of your focus?

When we fix our gaze down on our circumstances, our history, ourselves, vaunting our own merits and works, Christ is diminished, ignored.

When we look up to the cross, remembering Jesus and His work on our behalf, His love, His hope, then He is exalted, honored, rejoiced over, worshiped.

Look up and live!

On what are you dwelling today?

carrying

we sat across the table at Starbuck's
we caught up,
talked work, life, family, church

her coffee order was different than i remember
simpler
decaf with water

there was more she needed to tell
there was a burden in her i didn't remember
conversation dissipated

she told a story,
she had been sick
the doctors misdiagnosed
she wasn't getting better
she returned to the hospital
it was right around Christmas

she sat straight
her eyes locked with mine
and said "I have stage 4 colon cancer;
there is no stage 5."
then her shoulders fell,
she wept

i left my chair to move to her side
i hugged her, and i wept

i remembered meeting her in college
acting out shakespeare together for our lit class
getting coffee
watching the blues brothers and Jesus Christ superstar together
meeting her sister's pet pig
many of our challenging conversations
chewing on Scripture together
studying Mao
seeing history fresh through her passionate eyes
staying connected after marriage
her visiting over hot cocoa to meet my daughter

how can this be that my friend, my age, has cancer?

my heart aches for her,
and i love her dearly

more importantly, God loves her,
eternally important, she loves Him

i'm thankful, Lord, that You bore our sins on the cross
i'm thankful that You daily bear our burdens (Psalm 68:19)
help me to bear this with her,
to carry...that she would not bear this alone

It's Friday, but Sunday's comin'

S.M. Lockridge:

It’s Friday
Jesus is praying
Peter’s a sleeping
Judas is betraying
But Sunday’s comin’

It’s Friday
Pilate’s struggling
The council is conspiring
The crowd is vilifying
They don’t even know
That Sunday’s comin’

It’s Friday
The disciples are running
Like sheep without a shepherd
Mary’s crying
Peter is denying
But they don’t know
That Sunday’s a comin’

It’s Friday
The Romans beat my Jesus
They robe him in scarlet
They crown him with thorns
But they don’t know
That Sunday’s comin’

It’s Friday
See Jesus walking to Calvary
His blood dripping
His body stumbling
And his spirit’s burdened
But you see, it’s only Friday
Sunday’s comin’

It’s Friday
The world’s winning
People are sinning
And evil’s grinning

It’s Friday
The soldiers nail my Savior’s hands
To the cross
They nail my Savior’s feet
To the cross
And then they raise him up
Next to criminals

It’s Friday
But let me tell you something
Sunday’s comin’

It’s Friday
The disciples are questioning
What has happened to their King
And the Pharisees are celebrating
That their scheming
Has been achieved
But they don’t know
It’s only Friday
Sunday’s comin’

It’s Friday
He’s hanging on the cross
Feeling forsaken by his Father
Left alone and dying
Can nobody save him?
Ooooh

It’s Friday
But Sunday’s comin’

It’s Friday
The earth trembles
The sky grows dark
My King yields his spirit

It’s Friday
Hope is lost
Death has won
Sin has conquered
and Satan’s just a laughin’

It’s Friday
Jesus is buried
A soldier stands guard
And a rock is rolled into place

But it’s Friday
It is only Friday
Sunday is a comin’!

wise queen or faithful God

it was the best of times
it was the worst of times

Esther was safe in the king's palace;
her people were just handed a death edict...

the king needed a new queen
a search began
from hundreds of women
Esther was chosen as the best

special attention was given her
time and efforts bestowed upon her
words and directives equipped her

she was the most beautiful
the one set apart
the one crowned queen

she knew what to do
when to do
how to do
and where

she knew her place
not to see the king's face
unless he requested her

her cousin was vigilant
there at the king's gate
watching
ready
advising
caring

he was Mordecai, a Jew
unashamed
owning his heritage

his heritage enraged a certain fellow
a king's noble
elevated and honored above all his other nobles

his name was Haman
son of Hammedatha the Agagite

he loathed Jews
one in particular
named Mordecai

the very same Mordecai
who maintained his station at the king's gate
remaining vigilant and ready

the very same cousin of Esther
queen
and Jew

though no one knew
she was a Jew

Mordecai advised her to hold that national treasure
near her own heart
for her own protection
a secret

no one knew
she was a Jew

and it was a Jew who enraged Haman
who refused to kneel before him
when he passed by
the Jew Mordecai would kneel to no one
but his God

this infuriated Haman
he demanded homage
he demanded laud and honor
he demanded kneeling
particularly from a Jew

Haman decided to alleviate his fury
by not only killing Mordecai
but by annihilating the entire race from the kingdom of King Xerxes

his plan took on form
grew bigger
better
stronger
more terrifying

became public knowledge
the Jews were educated
told of their future demise
close at hand

the Jews mourned
grieved
wept
prayed

Mordecai had one trump card

her name was Esther
queen
the king's favorite

"approach the throne"
she was told
by her cousin Mordecai

"be our advocate
we need you now
you are also a Jew
and are neither safe from this deathly edict"

"you are there, Esther, in the king's palace
for such a time as this"

"you must fight for life"

Esther acted
prayed
fasted
enlisted the Jews
to pray
fast
wait on her behalf

God heard
He moved
He had set Esther in that place
for such a time as this

it is He who turns the hearts of kings
who hardens
or softens
who moves
and directs

He determines their steps
and uses them as means to protect
or save
or rescue His people

God is the hero of Esther
always and forever

He just used a lovely woman as His vessel
to effect the change of the coming peril and judgment
from one nation to one man

He saved
He rescued
He protected
He avenged

God is to be worshiped here
emulated
lauded
praised
honored
feared
loved
elevated

it is He who brought salvation
it was His hand behind Mordecai's
behind Esther's
behind the very hand of Xerxes

God is in it all
behind it all
before it all
through it all

and all is for Him

may the faithful God be remembered in Esther
His wisdom
His timing
His protection
His victory