we sat across the table at Starbuck's
we caught up,
talked work, life, family, church
her coffee order was different than i remember
simpler
decaf with water
there was more she needed to tell
there was a burden in her i didn't remember
conversation dissipated
she told a story,
she had been sick
the doctors misdiagnosed
she wasn't getting better
she returned to the hospital
it was right around Christmas
she sat straight
her eyes locked with mine
and said "I have stage 4 colon cancer;
there is no stage 5."
then her shoulders fell,
she wept
i left my chair to move to her side
i hugged her, and i wept
i remembered meeting her in college
acting out shakespeare together for our lit class
getting coffee
watching the blues brothers and Jesus Christ superstar together
meeting her sister's pet pig
many of our challenging conversations
chewing on Scripture together
studying Mao
seeing history fresh through her passionate eyes
staying connected after marriage
her visiting over hot cocoa to meet my daughter
how can this be that my friend, my age, has cancer?
my heart aches for her,
and i love her dearly
more importantly, God loves her,
eternally important, she loves Him
i'm thankful, Lord, that You bore our sins on the cross
i'm thankful that You daily bear our burdens (Psalm 68:19)
help me to bear this with her,
to carry...that she would not bear this alone
Monday, April 8, 2013
Friday, March 29, 2013
It's Friday, but Sunday's comin'
S.M. Lockridge:
It’s Friday
Jesus is praying
Peter’s a sleeping
Judas is betraying
But Sunday’s comin’
It’s Friday
Pilate’s struggling
The council is conspiring
The crowd is vilifying
They don’t even know
That Sunday’s comin’
It’s Friday
The disciples are running
Like sheep without a shepherd
Mary’s crying
Peter is denying
But they don’t know
That Sunday’s a comin’
It’s Friday
The Romans beat my Jesus
They robe him in scarlet
They crown him with thorns
But they don’t know
That Sunday’s comin’
It’s Friday
See Jesus walking to Calvary
His blood dripping
His body stumbling
And his spirit’s burdened
But you see, it’s only Friday
Sunday’s comin’
It’s Friday
The world’s winning
People are sinning
And evil’s grinning
It’s Friday
The soldiers nail my Savior’s hands
To the cross
They nail my Savior’s feet
To the cross
And then they raise him up
Next to criminals
It’s Friday
But let me tell you something
Sunday’s comin’
It’s Friday
The disciples are questioning
What has happened to their King
And the Pharisees are celebrating
That their scheming
Has been achieved
But they don’t know
It’s only Friday
Sunday’s comin’
It’s Friday
He’s hanging on the cross
Feeling forsaken by his Father
Left alone and dying
Can nobody save him?
Ooooh
It’s Friday
But Sunday’s comin’
It’s Friday
The earth trembles
The sky grows dark
My King yields his spirit
It’s Friday
Hope is lost
Death has won
Sin has conquered
and Satan’s just a laughin’
It’s Friday
Jesus is buried
A soldier stands guard
And a rock is rolled into place
But it’s Friday
It is only Friday
Sunday is a comin’!
It’s Friday
Jesus is praying
Peter’s a sleeping
Judas is betraying
But Sunday’s comin’
It’s Friday
Pilate’s struggling
The council is conspiring
The crowd is vilifying
They don’t even know
That Sunday’s comin’
It’s Friday
The disciples are running
Like sheep without a shepherd
Mary’s crying
Peter is denying
But they don’t know
That Sunday’s a comin’
It’s Friday
The Romans beat my Jesus
They robe him in scarlet
They crown him with thorns
But they don’t know
That Sunday’s comin’
It’s Friday
See Jesus walking to Calvary
His blood dripping
His body stumbling
And his spirit’s burdened
But you see, it’s only Friday
Sunday’s comin’
It’s Friday
The world’s winning
People are sinning
And evil’s grinning
It’s Friday
The soldiers nail my Savior’s hands
To the cross
They nail my Savior’s feet
To the cross
And then they raise him up
Next to criminals
It’s Friday
But let me tell you something
Sunday’s comin’
It’s Friday
The disciples are questioning
What has happened to their King
And the Pharisees are celebrating
That their scheming
Has been achieved
But they don’t know
It’s only Friday
Sunday’s comin’
It’s Friday
He’s hanging on the cross
Feeling forsaken by his Father
Left alone and dying
Can nobody save him?
Ooooh
It’s Friday
But Sunday’s comin’
It’s Friday
The earth trembles
The sky grows dark
My King yields his spirit
It’s Friday
Hope is lost
Death has won
Sin has conquered
and Satan’s just a laughin’
It’s Friday
Jesus is buried
A soldier stands guard
And a rock is rolled into place
But it’s Friday
It is only Friday
Sunday is a comin’!
Monday, March 11, 2013
wise queen or faithful God
it was the best of times
it was the worst of times
Esther was safe in the king's palace;
her people were just handed a death edict...
the king needed a new queen
a search began
from hundreds of women
Esther was chosen as the best
special attention was given her
time and efforts bestowed upon her
words and directives equipped her
she was the most beautiful
the one set apart
the one crowned queen
she knew what to do
when to do
how to do
and where
she knew her place
not to see the king's face
unless he requested her
her cousin was vigilant
there at the king's gate
watching
ready
advising
caring
he was Mordecai, a Jew
unashamed
owning his heritage
his heritage enraged a certain fellow
a king's noble
elevated and honored above all his other nobles
his name was Haman
son of Hammedatha the Agagite
he loathed Jews
one in particular
named Mordecai
the very same Mordecai
who maintained his station at the king's gate
remaining vigilant and ready
the very same cousin of Esther
queen
and Jew
though no one knew
she was a Jew
Mordecai advised her to hold that national treasure
near her own heart
for her own protection
a secret
no one knew
she was a Jew
and it was a Jew who enraged Haman
who refused to kneel before him
when he passed by
the Jew Mordecai would kneel to no one
but his God
this infuriated Haman
he demanded homage
he demanded laud and honor
he demanded kneeling
particularly from a Jew
Haman decided to alleviate his fury
by not only killing Mordecai
but by annihilating the entire race from the kingdom of King Xerxes
his plan took on form
grew bigger
better
stronger
more terrifying
became public knowledge
the Jews were educated
told of their future demise
close at hand
the Jews mourned
grieved
wept
prayed
Mordecai had one trump card
her name was Esther
queen
the king's favorite
"approach the throne"
she was told
by her cousin Mordecai
"be our advocate
we need you now
you are also a Jew
and are neither safe from this deathly edict"
"you are there, Esther, in the king's palace
for such a time as this"
"you must fight for life"
Esther acted
prayed
fasted
enlisted the Jews
to pray
fast
wait on her behalf
God heard
He moved
He had set Esther in that place
for such a time as this
it is He who turns the hearts of kings
who hardens
or softens
who moves
and directs
He determines their steps
and uses them as means to protect
or save
or rescue His people
God is the hero of Esther
always and forever
He just used a lovely woman as His vessel
to effect the change of the coming peril and judgment
from one nation to one man
He saved
He rescued
He protected
He avenged
God is to be worshiped here
emulated
lauded
praised
honored
feared
loved
elevated
it is He who brought salvation
it was His hand behind Mordecai's
behind Esther's
behind the very hand of Xerxes
God is in it all
behind it all
before it all
through it all
and all is for Him
may the faithful God be remembered in Esther
His wisdom
His timing
His protection
His victory
it was the worst of times
Esther was safe in the king's palace;
her people were just handed a death edict...
the king needed a new queen
a search began
from hundreds of women
Esther was chosen as the best
special attention was given her
time and efforts bestowed upon her
words and directives equipped her
she was the most beautiful
the one set apart
the one crowned queen
she knew what to do
when to do
how to do
and where
she knew her place
not to see the king's face
unless he requested her
her cousin was vigilant
there at the king's gate
watching
ready
advising
caring
he was Mordecai, a Jew
unashamed
owning his heritage
his heritage enraged a certain fellow
a king's noble
elevated and honored above all his other nobles
his name was Haman
son of Hammedatha the Agagite
he loathed Jews
one in particular
named Mordecai
the very same Mordecai
who maintained his station at the king's gate
remaining vigilant and ready
the very same cousin of Esther
queen
and Jew
though no one knew
she was a Jew
Mordecai advised her to hold that national treasure
near her own heart
for her own protection
a secret
no one knew
she was a Jew
and it was a Jew who enraged Haman
who refused to kneel before him
when he passed by
the Jew Mordecai would kneel to no one
but his God
this infuriated Haman
he demanded homage
he demanded laud and honor
he demanded kneeling
particularly from a Jew
Haman decided to alleviate his fury
by not only killing Mordecai
but by annihilating the entire race from the kingdom of King Xerxes
his plan took on form
grew bigger
better
stronger
more terrifying
became public knowledge
the Jews were educated
told of their future demise
close at hand
the Jews mourned
grieved
wept
prayed
Mordecai had one trump card
her name was Esther
queen
the king's favorite
"approach the throne"
she was told
by her cousin Mordecai
"be our advocate
we need you now
you are also a Jew
and are neither safe from this deathly edict"
"you are there, Esther, in the king's palace
for such a time as this"
"you must fight for life"
Esther acted
prayed
fasted
enlisted the Jews
to pray
fast
wait on her behalf
God heard
He moved
He had set Esther in that place
for such a time as this
it is He who turns the hearts of kings
who hardens
or softens
who moves
and directs
He determines their steps
and uses them as means to protect
or save
or rescue His people
God is the hero of Esther
always and forever
He just used a lovely woman as His vessel
to effect the change of the coming peril and judgment
from one nation to one man
He saved
He rescued
He protected
He avenged
God is to be worshiped here
emulated
lauded
praised
honored
feared
loved
elevated
it is He who brought salvation
it was His hand behind Mordecai's
behind Esther's
behind the very hand of Xerxes
God is in it all
behind it all
before it all
through it all
and all is for Him
may the faithful God be remembered in Esther
His wisdom
His timing
His protection
His victory
Wednesday, February 27, 2013
the predicted turn and the needed comfort
"Simon Peter asked him, “Lord, where are you going?”
Jesus replied, “Where I am going, you cannot follow now, but you will follow later.”
37 Peter asked, “Lord, why can’t I follow you now? I will lay down my life for you.”
38 Then Jesus answered, “Will you really lay down your life for me? I tell you the truth, before the rooster crows, you will disown me three times!" John 13:36-38
heart-strong Peter is ready to follow...now.
Jesus tells him he is not
"Peter, you're going to turn away from me..."
"No way, Jesus! I'm ready to die for you!"
"Not yet, Peter.
Your heart is going to be tried,
put through the fires,
attacked in every way,
but it will be redeemed,
restored,
refined."
Jesus offers comfort after this difficult exchange...
“Do not let your hearts be troubled. Trust in God; trust also in me. 2 In my Father’s house are many rooms; if it were not so, I would have told you. I am going there to prepare a place for you. 3 And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come back and take you to be with me that you also may be where I am. 4 You know the way to the place where I am going.” John 14:1-4
He teaches and comforts and challenges all in one sitting.
I love Him.
He is to be trusted.
He is worthy.
Jesus replied, “Where I am going, you cannot follow now, but you will follow later.”
37 Peter asked, “Lord, why can’t I follow you now? I will lay down my life for you.”
38 Then Jesus answered, “Will you really lay down your life for me? I tell you the truth, before the rooster crows, you will disown me three times!" John 13:36-38
heart-strong Peter is ready to follow...now.
Jesus tells him he is not
"Peter, you're going to turn away from me..."
"No way, Jesus! I'm ready to die for you!"
"Not yet, Peter.
Your heart is going to be tried,
put through the fires,
attacked in every way,
but it will be redeemed,
restored,
refined."
Jesus offers comfort after this difficult exchange...
“Do not let your hearts be troubled. Trust in God; trust also in me. 2 In my Father’s house are many rooms; if it were not so, I would have told you. I am going there to prepare a place for you. 3 And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come back and take you to be with me that you also may be where I am. 4 You know the way to the place where I am going.” John 14:1-4
He teaches and comforts and challenges all in one sitting.
I love Him.
He is to be trusted.
He is worthy.
Tuesday, February 26, 2013
some trust
Some trust in chariots and some in horses,
but we trust in the name of the Lord our God. Proverbs 20:7
But I trust in you, O Lord;
I say, “You are my God.” Psalm 31:14
my heart longs to rest in You, to trust in You
my soul desires quiet there in Your midst...
please keep me from trusting in man
from seeking others in whom i might place my trust
maintain my trust in You
let my heart hold fast to You
clinging to You
anchored to You
holding to You
stayed with You
satisfied in You
resting in You
trusting in You
sure of You
yielded to You
following You
certain in You
i love You, Lord.
but we trust in the name of the Lord our God. Proverbs 20:7
But I trust in you, O Lord;
I say, “You are my God.” Psalm 31:14
my heart longs to rest in You, to trust in You
my soul desires quiet there in Your midst...
please keep me from trusting in man
from seeking others in whom i might place my trust
maintain my trust in You
let my heart hold fast to You
clinging to You
anchored to You
holding to You
stayed with You
satisfied in You
resting in You
trusting in You
sure of You
yielded to You
following You
certain in You
i love You, Lord.
Thursday, February 14, 2013
Valentine's Day
I love love.
I love that there is an entire day devoted to love.
I love that one of the things most easily set aside and replaced by selfish ambition and vain conceit is placed at the forefront for a day.
It is lovely, this love.
It is what the world needs more of.
It is embodied and taught and detailed and illustrated in the most perfect way by the most perfect One.
What a lovely picture, that of God loving so much that He would send Jesus to not just love us with life, but love us so much He would die in our place and rise from that death.
Death could not keep Him down; Love claimed the greatest victory in life.
Love continues to trump any cards that may be played against it.
I love that.
I do love love.
I love that God loved first.
What a love.
What a Savior.
What a beautiful day.
I love that there is an entire day devoted to love.
I love that one of the things most easily set aside and replaced by selfish ambition and vain conceit is placed at the forefront for a day.
It is lovely, this love.
It is what the world needs more of.
It is embodied and taught and detailed and illustrated in the most perfect way by the most perfect One.
What a lovely picture, that of God loving so much that He would send Jesus to not just love us with life, but love us so much He would die in our place and rise from that death.
Death could not keep Him down; Love claimed the greatest victory in life.
Love continues to trump any cards that may be played against it.
I love that.
I do love love.
I love that God loved first.
What a love.
What a Savior.
What a beautiful day.
Monday, February 4, 2013
Advocates, Proponents, Supporters
I may die with a sunburn, with no political ties, having
never voted for the right president, without having been part of a club or
organization, without fighting for rights of animals, or without
being heard at a city hall meeting in my counter against a store with a concern
for the number of bushes being planted around it.
Lord, when I come to die, let me die with no regrets. Live Yourself through me that when my end
comes, I welcome it with great joy, knowing all was expended on my behalf to
draw souls to You. All was expended on
my behalf yearning for more of You. All
was expended by You for me on the cross.
Let me die with a heart empty of regrets but rejoicing in the sheep
You’ve drawn into Your fold.
Let us not be a Christian people of distractions, large and
small. Let us not be a Christian people
distracted by our advocating for all the things so closely tied to this
world. Let us cut the ties to worldly living so that we may live for Christ lives that spread His aroma to those near and
far from us, that they might be drawn near to the Savior.
Oh, Lord, that we might be called worthy and faithful as we
advocate Christ alone.
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